Verses 1-7, “So Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was concerned about Absalom. And Joab sent to Tekoa and brought from there a wise woman, and said to her, 'Please pretend to be a mourner, and put on mourning apparel; do not anoint yourself with oil, but act like a woman who has been mourning a long time for the dead. Go to the king and speak to him in this manner.' So Joab put the words in her mouth. And when the woman of Tekoa spoke to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and prostrated herself, and said, 'Help, O king!' Then the king said to her, 'What troubles you?' And she answered, 'Indeed I am a widow, my husband is dead. Now your maidservant had two sons; and the two fought with each other in the field, and there was no one to part them, but the one struck the other and killed him. And now the whole family has risen up against your maidservant, and they said, “Deliver him who struck his brother, that we may execute him for the life of his brother whom he killed; and we will destroy the heir also.” So they would extinguish my ember that is left, and leave to my husband neither name nor remnant on the earth.' ”
Joab thought he was doing a good thing to bring David and Absalom back together, and enlisted a woman from Tekoa to help reach David on the matter. This woman pretended to be in a similar situation, with one son killing the other. Her hope was for the murdering son to escape justice, for the sake of her own grief. Certainly David would relate to her story, but unfortunately, he would ignore justice being served. As the king, it was his responsibility to make sure that justice was indeed carried out, not bend the rules and follow his emotions. Nobody wants a judge deciding their case who would set the law aside because they feel bad for one of the parties involved.
Verses 8-17, “Then the king said to the woman, 'Go to your house, and I will give orders concerning you.' And the woman of Tekoa said to the king, 'My Lord, O king, let the iniquity be on me and on my father’s house, and the king and his throne be guiltless.' So the king said, 'Whoever says anything to you, bring him to me, and he shall not touch you anymore.' Then she said, 'Please let the king remember the Lord your God, and do not permit the avenger of blood to destroy anymore, lest they destroy my son.' And he said, 'As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.' Therefore the woman said, 'Please, let your maidservant speak another word to my Lord the king.' And he said, 'Say on.' So the woman said: 'Why then have you schemed such a thing against the people of God? For the king speaks this thing as one who is guilty, in that the king does not bring his banished one home again. For we will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away a life; but He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him. Now therefore, I have come to speak of this thing to my Lord the king because the people have made me afraid. And your maidservant said, “I will now speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his maidservant. For the king will hear and deliver his maidservant from the hand of the man who would destroy me and my son together from the inheritance of God.” Your maidservant said, “The word of my Lord the king will now be comforting; for as the angel of God, so is my Lord the king in discerning good and evil. And may the Lord your God be with you.” ’ ”
After David decided in her favor (As the Lord lives, not one hair of your son shall fall to the ground.), the woman revealed that she was really there to talk about David's situation with his own son, Absalom. By continuing to ignore the issue of Absalom, the people of Israel feared that Absalom would grow increasingly bitter toward them and increase as a threat to them. The same thing happens in the church today. The longer you allow the threat of a person in sin to continue, the more their sin will spread and infect others. 1 Corinthians 5:4-8, “In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. For indeed Christ, our Passover, was sacrificed for us. Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.”
The threat is also present from those spreading false doctrines in the church. If ignored and left alone, they become increasingly destructive to the body of Christ. II Timothy 2:16-18, “But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. And their message will spread like cancer. Hymenaeus and Philetus are of this sort, who have strayed concerning the truth, saying that the resurrection is already past; and they overthrow the faith of some.” Would you want your leaders being emotionally swayed by these threats, allowing them to continue?
The woman manipulates the truth about God in this matter to get the outcome she wants. It is true that there are banished ones, because their sin separates them from God. It is also true that He is willing that none should perish. But make no mistake, there is only one way they can be brought back and not expelled from Him. That is through repentance. You cannot reconcile the unrepentive. If a person that is banished from fellowship in the church truly repents, they can also be brought back into the fold. II Corinthians 2:5-7, “But if anyone has caused grief, he has not grieved me, but all of you to some extent—not to be too severe. This punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, so that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow.” But bringing them back any other way (without a true heart change) will only lead to more problems, as we will see with Absalom.
Verses 18-24, “Then the king answered and said to the woman, 'Please do not hide from me anything that I ask you.' And the woman said, 'Please, let my Lord the king speak.' So the king said, 'Is the hand of Joab with you in all this?' And the woman answered and said, 'As you live, my Lord the king, no one can turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my Lord the king has spoken. For your servant Joab commanded me, and he put all these words in the mouth of your maidservant. To bring about this change of affairs your servant Joab has done this thing; but my Lord is wise, according to the wisdom of the angel of God, to know everything that is in the earth.' And the king said to Joab, 'All right, I have granted this thing. Go therefore, bring back the young man Absalom.' Then Joab fell to the ground on his face and bowed himself, and thanked the king. And Joab said, 'Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my Lord, O king, in that the king has fulfilled the request of his servant.' So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. And the king said, 'Let him return to his own house, but do not let him see my face.' So Absalom returned to his own house, but did not see the king’s face.”
David perceived that Joab had put the woman up to her plan to manipulate. Because Joab was close to David, he would know better than others how to appeal to David's heart, which is why it is so important to have trustworthy men serving as assistant pastors, elders, and deacons in the church. These men should be proven in their walks, willing to follow God above man (even the pastor). 1 Timothy 3:7, “Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.” After the woman acknowledged the truth, David concedes to Joab’s plan to allow the return of Absalom, with the stipulation that he would not see David's face. You see, this was not even close to full restoration.
Verses 25-30, “Now in all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. And when he cut the hair of his head—at the end of every year he cut it because it was heavy on him—when he cut it, he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels according to the king’s standard. To Absalom were born three sons, and one daughter whose name was Tamar. She was a woman of beautiful appearance. And Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, but did not see the king’s face. Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but he would not come to him. And when he sent again the second time, he would not come. So he said to his servants, 'See, Joab’s field is near mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire.' And Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.”
As Absalom was being praised by others for his outward appearance, his anger increased over the fact that his father would not see him. He sent for Joab to arrange a meeting with the king, but when Joab would not come, he set fire to his fields to get his attention. Wickedness was still in Absalom’s heart, because he had never repented. And feeling self righteous in murdering his brother, he devised more sinful actions in his heart. This is the result of overlooking others' sins. Thankfully, we can trust that the Lord is always just, and will not allow these people to prosper indefinitely. They will be judged with righteous judgement one day, even if the earthly judges refuse.
Verses 31-33, “Then Joab arose and came to Absalom’s house, and said to him, 'Why have your servants set my field on fire?' And Absalom answered Joab, “Look, I sent to you, saying, Come here, so that I may send you to the king, to say, ‘Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.’ ” Now therefore, let me see the king’s face; but if there is iniquity in me, let him execute me.' So Joab went to the king and told him. And when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king. Then the king kissed Absalom.”
Absalom finally gets his meeting before the king. This meant that David did not hold up to his word. When parents discipline their children, they must follow through with their word, or the wickedness in a child will grow. Notice how Absalom was banished, then allowed back into the city, then wormed his way back into the king's presence with his temper tantrum of burning Joab's fields. David had lost all control of his son for his lack of discipline. Absalom bows before David, even though his heart was not fully surrendered. David kisses Absalom without fully forgiving him. Neither men were where they needed to be in their hearts. In family and friend relationships, we often think that we are doing a kind thing by overlooking their sin. However, the wounds caused by sharing the truth is really the most loving thing we can do for them. Proverbs 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
In this chapter, Joab perceived that David was concerned about his son Absalom, so he came up with a plan to get David to reconcile with his son. Everyone believed that it was a threat to have Absalom away, storing up bitterness against David, and it was David's job to reconcile with his son the right way.
ReplyDeleteJoab sends a widow to David who had a similar story of her two sons. She wanted David's help, and wanted her one son who killed the other son to be protected since he was the only heir. David gave her what she wanted and pardoned her sons sin. David had a responsibility as the king to uphold justice, and here he ignores the sin for sympathy towards this old widow. As a king, it was David's job to keep the law, not forsake it. She then wanted to talk about his son Absalom, and that was the real reason that she was there.
This applies to Christians today as well. We can't overlook someone's sin because we fell bad for them, or we can sympathize with them. This doesn't make them ok. There still needs to be repentance, and we can't let the truth go for our emotions. It is extremely hard watching someone you love choose the wrong thing, and live in sin, but we are called to choose God and the truth over friends and family. Matthew 10:35-37- "For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me." Choosing to overlook someone's sin is not loving at all, instead we should expose it and call them to repentance.
David brings back Absalom, but he doesn't see his face. He lived in Jerusalem for 2 years without ever seeing his father's face. Absalom believed he was justified for his actions because of what Ammon did, and he believed David was just being harsh, which was causing him to store up bitterness. Absalom did not have the right heart, and he even burned Joab's field to try and get his attention. He finally did, and Joab went to the king for him.
We were all once estranged from God. Our sin separated us from Him, and we all deserve hell. God sent Jesus to die for us, to make a way for us to be with God. If we repent and accept Christ, we are reconciled with Him. We all were once banished, and now we can be reconciled with Christ. When we come to Christ however, we need to come humbly, admitting that we are sinners, and repent. Absalom came back prideful, believing he was justified in his sin. This prevents true reconciliation. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. If we can't admit we have sinned, how can God show us grace? We need to be careful that we let go of our pride, and admit we sin. Even as believers, we still sin because of our fleshly nature.