Verses 1-6, “After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. And he said to him, 'Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?' Amnon said to him, 'I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.' So Jonadab said to him, 'Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.” ' Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, 'Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.' ”
Evidently, David's son Amnon shared the same character flaw as David. They were both discontent and wanted things that were not lawful to have. Having the sinful desire is one thing, but they acted upon those desires, choosing their own will above the commandments of the Lord. You cannot help but wonder, if David had been a better example in this area, if his son would have instead copied his example of discipline and self control. This should make is pause and consider what example of godliness are we displaying to our children through our words and actions? Would we want our children copying our walks?
Amnon took ungodly counsel from Jonadab, which lined up exactly with what his flesh wanted to hear. This is when Amnon should have taken these thoughts into captivity to the obedience of Christ, but his aim was clearly not to please God in the matter, leading to his demise. Psalms 1:1-6, “Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord , And in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper. The ungodly are not so, But are like the chaff which the wind drives away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the ungodly shall perish.”
Verses 7-14, “And David sent home to Tamar, saying, 'Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.' So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, 'Have everyone go out from me.' And they all went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, 'Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.' And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, 'Come, lie with me, my sister.' But she answered him, 'No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.' However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.”
When Tamar brought the food she had prepared into Ammon, he forced her to lay with him, according to the wicked plan he had devised with Jonadab. Even though Amnon was blinded by his evil desire, Tamar immediately saw how wicked this thing was, and begged him to reconsider based on the shame it would bring to her, and his reputation being destroyed. Fools are those who act as though there is no God, and do not fear Him. Tamar makes it clear that he will be considered a fool in Israel. Psalms 14:1,“The fool has said in his heart, 'There is no God.' They are corrupt, They have done abominable works, There is none who does good.” If you purposely violate the commands of God, acting without fear, then you too are a fool, and cannot expect grace to cover your foolishness. Grace is for those who humble themselves and repent of their iniquity, not those who plot their wicked acts in pride and expect forgiveness.
Verses 15-22, “Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, 'Arise, be gone!' So she said to him, 'No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.' But he would not listen to her. Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, 'Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.' Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her. Then Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. And Absalom her brother said to her, 'Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.' So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.”
As soon as Amnon got what he wanted, he hated his sister Tamar. Often Satan will tempt us with forbidden fruit, making us believe that it will be so great if we just take a bite. Unfortunately we learn quickly, that it bites us back. There is no way to escape the consequences of sin. Amnon had Tamar put away from him, but that would not erase the wicked deed that was done. Although David was angry when he heard of the matter, he appears to not have done anything about it. After all, how could he? He was guilty of the same thing and had no leg to stand on. He could have disciplined his son and forced him to do the right thing concerning Tamar. You can ignore your actions, and hope everyone else does too, but you will not get away with it forever.
It is important to hold others accountable, especially those we love, for their own spiritual well being. When we do, we need to make sure we are in right standing with God before we help others get right with God. How can one addicted to a substance tell another they need to surrender fully to God, when they clearly have not themselves? How does one living with another outside of marriage tell another they need to get saved, when they are living without any fear of God's commands? Matthew 7:3-5, “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” You see, the Bible doesn't tell us not to judge; it does tell us not be a hypocrite while doing so.
Verses 23-29, “And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons. Then Absalom came to the king and said, 'Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.' But the king said to Absalom, 'No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.' Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him. Then Absalom said, 'If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.' And the king said to him, 'Why should he go with you?' But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, 'Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, “Strike Amnon!” then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.' So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled.”
In response to Amnon’s wickedness, Absalom secretly plotted his revenge in honor of his sister. He was likely bitter because his father did nothing, and felt the need to take matters into his own hands. For two years, he hid his anger and pretended to be okay with Amnon, waiting for the opportunity to make his move. Unfortunately, his harboring of bitterness, which took full root in him, caused him to become defiled as well. This is why we give vengeance its proper place...with God...so that we are not overcome by evil. Romans 12:19-21, “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord. Therefore 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Verses 30-39, “And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, 'Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!' So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, 'Let not my Lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. Now therefore, let not my Lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead.' Then Absalom fled. And the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. And Jonadab said to the king, 'Look, the king’s sons are coming; as your servant said, so it is.' So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king’s sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also the king and all his servants wept very bitterly. But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.”
Not only did Absalom’s sin separate him from God, but it also separated him from his father and the rest of his family. David once again, did nothing to punish Absalom. Instead, he grieved over his absence and longed to see him. When we have family members in sin, what do we grieve over...their absence in our lives or the sins they've committed against God? Many of us follow the same pattern of behavior as David, and we "get over" their sin because we want to be reconciled to them. By doing so, however, we ignore their need to be reconciled to God. And their end is destruction, just like Amnon, and afterward Absalom. By overlooking Absalom’s sin, his wickedness was allowed to grow until he became an enemy to Israel and David's kingdom. Be careful that you are not enabling another's wickedness to grow, leading to their destruction.
In this chapter, David's son Ammon claims to love his sister Tamar. He even refused to call her his sister, and instead said Absalom's sister. Instead of turning to God in this moment, he heeded his cousin's advice. Now Jonadab was evil, and came up with this wicked scheme for Ammon to get alone with Tamar. Ammon followed this plan, showing just how evil his own heart was.
ReplyDeleteAmmon was discontent just like David his father. He wanted a woman he could not have, and took her anyway. This just shows how important godly parenting is.
Proverbs 22:6- "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Children need to be trained up in a godly manner, and need to be disciplined as necessary. David seems to indulge his children, and not discipline them at all. Instead, he gives into Ammon's ridiculous requests, and sends Tamar into him. Ammon was acting like a child, and David never rebuked him. He was following after the lusts of his flesh.
Galatians 5:16- "I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh."
After Ammon committed this sin of lying with his sister, he immediately throws her out. Tamar did try to stop him, but he was so blinded by his lust, that he didn't see the consequences that would arise. He could have tried to make it right in some sense. He could have paid her bride price, or married her. Exodus 22:16-17- “If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the bride-price of virgins."
When Absalom heard of what Ammon did to Tamar, he was furious, and started plotting revenge. Even David heard about this, and was furious, but did nothing to rebuke his son or protect his daughter. Ammon had the same deception nature about him, and killed his brother after he got him drunk. Ammon and Absalom acted in the same wicked way, and they both learned this from their father.
This chapter really does show the importance of godly parenting. It is the fathers job to train his children up in the way they should go. It is their job to discipline, and be a godly example. David went down this same path of lust, but never went as far as Ammon did. He knew from experience, that you are blinded by it in the moment. The same goes for us. It may not be this exact sin, but any sin can blind us from the truth. It looks so enticing, and we don't seem to think of all the consequences that come along with it. We need to be careful that we flee our fleshly desires, and cling to God. We shouldn't be giving our flesh any opportunities to sin. Galatians 5:13- "For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."